Unsaid Words
by slowroad
Summary: Harry and Draco have been married for a few months now. Harry is pregnant. They're both ecstatic about the baby and they're mostly happy with each other, but they're having trouble communicating and it is slowly getting to them. Harry's depressed, Draco is worried and they badly need to talk...Written for the harrydracompreg fest 2014.


Disclaimer: This is a fanwork written for fun. There is no profit being made.

Warnings: mpreg

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This entire story is told in the words and voice of Draco Malfoy.

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Yesterday was the best day of my life...

It began the way most of my days do. I woke up with my arms wrapped around my husband, my amazing, gorgeous, wonderful husband, I remember thinking, as I sat up in bed and looked at him. Harry was curled up on his side with his back to me, his hand resting on his rounded belly…he looked so beautiful. It seems I cannot so much as look at him without my heart twisting just a little bit.

I kissed him softly and then I got out of bed as quietly as I could. Harry had had a restless night and I didn't want to disturb him. I padded into the bathroom, took a shower and got ready to start my day...

Dipsy brought me the paper and a cup of coffee. The '_Prophet'_was full of news of the upcoming Quidditch world cup which was being held in England after nearly twelve years. _I have to remember to contact Ginny about the tickets,_I thought as I put my paper aside and went into the kitchen to make breakfast.

"Master is doing Dipsy's job!" Dipsy said indignantly. She had just come in from the garden and found me scrambling eggs.

"I like making breakfast, Dipsy. You know that," I said mildly. And I do, really. It is the one thing in the day that I do for Harry and I know how much it means to him. It's a small thing, but then Harry is so easy to please.

I was frying off the bacon when my husband came into the kitchen. He was still in his pyjamas and he looked adorably sleep mussed. He came up behind me and hugged me.

"Good morning…" he said sleepily.

"Morning, Harry. Are you hungry?"

Harry chuckled. "I'm always hungry," he said. "It seems all I do these days is eat and pee."

"You're pregnant. It's part of the deal," I said. I turned around and kissed him. I ran my hand across his belly, which at six months was nice and rounded. Harry thinks it makes him look terrible, but I don't think so at all. I think he looks beautiful...

I made Harry sit down and I poured him a cup of coffee. I finished off the bacon and then I joined him at the table.

We ate in silence for a while. Harry is always extremely hungry in the mornings, so I like to give him the time to take the edge off his appetite before starting a conversation.

"Is Luna coming over today?" I said, after a while. Luna is Harry's Healer. She's helping us with the pregnancy. I was a bit hesitant about her in the beginning, you know, considering our history, but Harry had insisted, so I'd agreed. Turns out that Luna is a lot more forgiving than most other people.

"It wasn't your fault, Draco," she'd said and that was that.

"No. She had to reschedule," Harry said. "She'll be here tomorrow, though."

"Okay. I'll make sure I'm home when she comes."

"You don't...have to."

"I know that. I want to be here," I said as I reached for Harry's hand and held it.

"Thanks."

I stifled a sigh. I couldn't help wishing that he wouldn't be so grateful for every little thing that I do for him. It's his right. He should demand that I bloody well be there for all his Healer's appointments...

"What are you going to do today?" I asked him after a few minutes.

"I'm going to write…I'm going to try, at least."

"When is the manuscript due?"

"It was due today. But I spoke to Pansy yesterday and she said she'd get Edward to give me another week. It's almost done. I only have the last two chapters left to write. It should be easy, but it is just not coming together somehow and I'm not at all sure of the ending," he said.

Harry's third novel was due to come out in a couple of months. But he's been struggling with writer's block for the past week which combined with the stress of the pregnancy was making him quite miserable.

"Why don't you let me read it? Maybe I can help."

Harry looked almost pained for a moment. Then he shook his head. "No. I'm not ready for anyone to read it yet," he said.

_I'm not just anyone,_ I wanted to say. But Harry already looked a bit upset, so I kept the words to myself.

"It'll come together. Don't worry," I said instead.

He squeezed my hand and smiled. In a few minutes, he was thoughtful again. He looked at me a couple of times, almost as if he wanted to say something, but then he shook his head and went back to eating.

"What is it?" I said.

"Nothing...just thinking about the book."

I knew Harry had something on his mind. He'd been like this for nearly a week now. I wished he would just tell me what it was. I waited a couple of minutes, but he didn't seem inclined to talk about it, so I let it go...It hurt a little though, the fact that he wouldn't talk to me about whatever it was that was troubling him, that he wouldn't let me help him. I don't know why he thinks he has to deal with everything by himself. I wish he would just let me take care of him sometimes.

We finished our breakfast in silence. We were both a bit uncomfortable. But I didn't want to leave things that way, so I kissed him with particular warmth before I left for work, hoping to convey what I could not say in words. Harry responded the way he always does. He mewled softly and almost melted into me. I don't think he has any idea what it does to me to see him give in to me like that. It took all of my will power not to lay him down on the couch and make love to him right there...

But I couldn't very well do that. So I stifled another sigh, kissed him on his forehead and left. I walked into my office and sat down. I stared at the wall for several minutes.

"I love you, Harry," I said. "I love you very much."

It was a relief to say it out loud. I wish I could say it to Harry though. I am besottedly in love with the man but I haven't been able to muster the courage to tell him yet.

Considering the way everything had happened between us, I had never been sure if he felt the same way. So I'd never told him. I've fancied him forever. And after everything he did for me during the war and after, it is not surprising that I fell in love with him. But I'd never had the nerve to ask him out. Not even when we became friends after the war.

I simply couldn't muster the courage to make a move. Until I got sloshed that is. It was at Ginny and Blaise's wedding. Harry and I got drunk and we shagged. It was brilliant. I was in love with him before but after that night I knew that there would never be anyone else for me. I tried to tell him when we woke up the next morning. But he looked so embarrassed and uncomfortable…It was clear that he regretted it. So I didn't say anything. We had a very stiff conversation during which we apologised to each other several times and vowed never to talk of that incident again…

It broke my heart, but then I had always known that Harry was much too good for me. So I got on with my life, or tried to anyway. We ran into each other a few times after that and though Harry was always friendly, things were a bit awkward between us.

He called me one day, about two months after Ginny and Blaise's wedding and asked if we could meet. He had something important to tell me he said. He wanted to meet somewhere private, so he invited me to his apartment. He seemed rather nervous when I got there, but he relaxed as the evening went on. We had a quiet dinner and we talked about his writing and my business, we talked about all our friends…

Then he poured me a drink and told me that he was pregnant. We were going to have a baby together. I was stunned. And then I was ecstatic. But I didn't dare show my excitement. What if Harry didn't want to have the baby? It would kill me, but I wouldn't pressure him into doing anything that he didn't want. I couldn't. So I waited.

"I want to have this baby," Harry said.

"Oh! I'm so glad...I want this baby too," I said. "I'm going to help in any way I can."

He looked relieved. I didn't realise until then that he'd been worried about that.

A couple of weeks went by. I went with Harry to his Healer's appointment. They did the first scan and we saw our baby boy for the first time. Both Harry and I got a bit emotional after that and then on impulse, I asked him to marry me. I regretted the question immediately. The fact that we were having a baby together didn't mean that we had to get married. Harry was clearly not interested in me. What the hell did I think I was doing?

"You don't have to, of course," I said, backtracking hastily. "It's just…I think it would be good if our baby grew up with two parents…you know married and… a home and…" I was babbling.

I was astonished when Harry smiled shyly at me and said, "I'd like that."

I was stunned. I didn't know how to react. "Wait...what…you actually agreed?" I said.

"Yes," he said. "I'll marry you. I…like you and I think our baby should have a proper home and two parents, like you said."

And so we got married. That was three months ago and so far I hadn't gathered the courage to tell my amazing husband how much I love him. He hasn't talked about his feelings either, so I honestly don't know what he thinks of me or how he feels about me. I know he likes me and we're wonderfully compatible in bed, which is just a nice way of saying that the sex is bloody amazing, but that's about it.

We have a good marriage and we're mostly happy. But there's still a bit of a barrier there. We're not as open with each other as we should be. Harry doesn't really tell me when he's tired or upset and I don't share any of my stresses with him either. We don't lean on each other the way a couple should. It bothers me, but then it is my own damn fault.

I love him and he deserves to know that. I wish I had told him when I asked him to marry me, but what can I say? I'm a little too Slytherin for my own good, sometimes.

I was thinking about all of this when Blaise walked in to the room with the list of all the latest orders. He took one look at my face and snorted.

"Just bloody tell him, will you?" he said.

"I can't."

"I don't see why it should be so difficult to tell your own husband that you love him. It's obvious that he adores you."

"No it's not. He's a Gryffindor. If he really adores me, he would have said it by now."

"Yeah. But he's also Harry Potter. A man who had a very unloving childhood. He doesn't always know how to express his feelings, Draco. Besides, he's pregnant and that makes him vulnerable."

I opened my mouth to argue and then I stopped myself. I couldn't deny that Blaise had a point. He took advantage of my silence and pressed his argument.

"Do you honestly think he would have married you if he didn't love you?"

I didn't know what to say to that so I kept quiet and went back to staring at the wall.

"Stop mooning and go home to your husband and for once, bloody talk to him, you know using actual words…" Blaise said.

"I don't want to ruin everything…" I said.

"You won't ruin anything. Honestly, I don't know how that man puts up with you," Blaise muttered. Then he came over to my side of the table and hauled me out of the chair. Then he stood me in front of the Floo and said, "I'll take of everything here. Just go!"

Blaise was right. How long was I going to keep agonising about this? Harry is my husband. I should be able to tell him anything I want. Right?

Right. I took a deep breath and grabbed the Floo-powder.

I stepped through the Floo into my living room. Harry was sitting on the settee by the window. He looked up, startled when he heard the Floo.

Hi!" he said, trying to smile.

I saw the tears before he was able to wipe them away.

"Harry, what happened?" I said as I went up to him.

"It's the bloody hormones," he said dismissively as he quickly wiped his face. "What are doing back home?"

"I don't feel like working today. I want to spend the day with you."

That made him smile. "That's sweet," he said. He put his hand on my face and caressed my cheek. And there was that look of pain on his face again.

"Harry what is wrong?" I said.

"I'm a bit…upset."

"What about?"

He didn't answer immediately. He seemed to be trying to gather his thoughts. I waited.

"I need to ask you something," he said. "It's been eating away at me for the last few days and I really need to clear it up..."

I was starting to get worried. "What is it?" I said.

Harry took a deep breath. "I ran into Astoria Greengrass last week," he began. "She told me...a few things. Is it true that you were planning to marry her?" Harry kept his voice light but I could sense the tension underneath.

"No! Of course not!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. I never once thought of that woman as anything other than a nuisance. My father wanted me to marry her, but I never agreed with him."

"Hmmm...She told me you drew up a marriage contract and that if it wasn't for my pregnancy, you would have married her."

"My father did draw up a marriage contract, but I tore it up. We had a huge fight over that...Astoria lied to you, Harry. I never ever wanted to marry her...or anyone else for that matter."

"Why did you marry me, though?" Harry said. "Was it out of obligation, a sense of duty?"

"Did Astoria tell you that as well?"

Harry nodded. "It's not hard to believe," he said. "It's not like you love me or anything. And we weren't dating. You weren't even interested in me. It was just one drunken encounter. It meant a lot to me but..." He trailed off looking embarrassed.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Blaise was right. Harry did want me after all. He was upset because he thought I'd married him out of a sense of obligation…I wanted to grab him and kiss him until he couldn't think anymore, but I reined myself in. This was a time for talking…with words.

So I took his hand in mine and kissed it lightly. "It meant a lot to me too," I said. "It nearly killed me to walk away from you the next morning."

"Then why did you?" Harry whispered.

"Because you were so embarrassed and uncomfortable...I thought you regretted it."

Harry's eyes widened. "I didn't regret it...I was embarrassed though."

"Embarrassed by what?"

"That was my first time...um...bottoming, you know and I couldn't believe how needy and wanton I had been. And I had kept talking and saying all those...things," he said, blushing at the memory.

"Harry you weren't needy. You were passionate and honest. It was wonderful to see you like that, to have you want me that much. It made me crazy with desire."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. Is that why you don't talk anymore...when we have sex? Are you embarrassed?"

"Yes," he whispered, blushing and turning away.

"Don't be. I like it when you tell me what you want and how you feel. It really turns me on."

"It does?"

"Yes. It makes me crazy and I love it."

"Okay."

I put my hand on his cheek and turned him to face me.

"Harry, look at me," I said.

He raised his eyes to mine. There was still a bit of uncertainty there.

"So you...you really did want to marry me?" he asked hesitantly.

I put my arms around him and held him tight. "Of course I did. I've wanted you for a long time, Harry. I've had a massive crush on you since fourth year."

Harry pulled away so he could look at my face. He looked completely taken aback.

"But...you were so awful to me," he said.

"I was...frustrated. And spoilt brat that I was, I took it out on you."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"And have you and your pals hex me all the way to China?"

"Not back then. After the war...we got to be friends. You could have asked me out."

"I was sure you would say no."

"I wouldn't have said no."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was kind of crushing on you too. It started at the trial I think. You were so apologetic and so gracious about everything. And then I came to the manor to return your wand and you were so charming..." Harry broke off, blushing a little.

"I flirted with you shamelessly, you mean."

"Yeah. I really fell for you that day."

I reached out and cupped his cheek. He kissed my palm and looked at me. He looked relieved and happy. There was that urge to start kissing him again.

"Why didn't you say something then?" I asked him.

"I...I didn't think you'd be interested."

"Why ever not?"

"Because you're so..."

"I'm so what?"

"Classy and sophisticated and I'm just...me," Harry said.

"Yeah. You're nothing special. You're just the most beautiful man I have ever seen," I said as I ran my eyes deliberately across his face.

He blushed. "You blush so prettily too," I said. I stroked his jaw and I ran my hand along his neck and over his chest.

He sighed happily. "You're also very, very sexy," I said.

"Draco stop. I'm not sexy. I'm all soft and fat..."

"You're not fat. You're pregnant," I said as I stroked his belly. "You're pregnant with our child. Do you know how hot that is?"

He blushed some more. I leaned forward and kissed him gently. "You are also the nicest, most generous man I have ever known," I said.

"Thank you," he said after a moment.

"What for?"

"For not listing my dark lord killing powers as a reason to like me," he said smiling ruefully.

"You're a very powerful wizard, Harry. But that is not why I love you."

There the words were out.

"I love you," I said again. "I've loved you for a long time."

He stared at me for a long moment. Then he put his arms around my neck and pulled me into a kiss. It was soft and warm, tender and loving...and it almost melted my insides.

"I love you too, Draco. I love you too," he began to whisper between kisses. "I've wanted to tell you for months now..."

Harry kisses the way he does everything else…he gives all of himself to me and to the moment. It is such a heady feeling to be the centre of all that attention. We kissed for a long time, running our hands all over each other, touching and kissing with a hunger that neither of us had dared to express before...I was kissing my way down Harry's neck when I felt a ripple of magic and the world shifted a bit. Harry had Apparated us into our bedroom…wandlessly.

I cannot tell you how arousing I find it when he does things like that. It took me a moment to get my bearings and then I launched myself at him again. We took a long time loving each other that morning. We'd finally done the talking. We'd got all our doubts and fears out of the way. And now we needed to be as close to each other as we possibly could.

"I want you, Draco. I need you. Fuck me, please," Harry said as I prepared him.

I remember thinking as I pushed into him that I wished I could crawl under his skin and just stay there...I must have said that out loud, because Harry nodded and said, "Me too," before wrapping his legs around me and pushing me to go faster after which of course I couldn't think anymore.

I collapsed on him after a few minutes, feeling all boneless and sated. I rolled off him, feeling happier than I ever had. Harry was smiling every bit as goofily as me. It was wonderful to see. I cleaned us up and drew him into my arms.

"I love you, Draco," he said sleepily.

"I love you too," I mumbled and before I knew it, I was asleep.

...

I woke up after a couple of hours. Harry was sitting next to me; he had his laptop perched on his legs and he was typing furiously.

He stopped for a minute and turned to look at me.

"I finished the book," he said.

"What? Really? That's wonderful."

"Yeah. I just have to rewrite a bit of the last chapter and then I'm done."

"So you figured out the ending huh?"

"Yes. It was actually pretty obvious. I don't know why I didn't see it before."

"Can I read it now?"

"Just as soon as I'm finished, love."

It was the first time he'd used that particular endearment. It brought a lump to my throat. I snuggled a bit closer and waited for him to finish writing his book.

I started reading it that afternoon. I was around twenty pages into the book when I understood why Harry had refused to let me see it until now...the book was about us. It was fictionalised of course and a lot of the details were different, but Gus and Samuel, that was us. From the time we were eleven year old boys who couldn't stand the sight of each other until now.

It's a very dramatic story, with lots of unexpected twists and plenty of drama and adventure along the way. But at heart it is a love story...

It's the first time Harry has attempted romance and he's done a brilliant job of it.


End file.
